March 27, 2018 17:14 Astrology Library

5 funny facts about each of the star signs

5 funny facts about each of the star signs

Here are some of the most common - and funniest - characteristics of each of the twelve star signs. Some of them are quite endearing, really. Proceed…with a sense of humour!

Zodiac Signs and Humour: Funny Facts

So what's the funniest thing about Aries? How about Aquarius? Humour is a great way to speak the truth so read on and enjoy...

ARIES

  1. Every third word that comes out of Aries’ mouth is “I”. 
  2. When an Aries says they will do something, they do it. Usually, though, they just go ahead and do something they shouldn’t without saying anything beforehand. 
  3. And when it’s all done, you’d better not say anything about it either, or you’ll end up in an emergency room. 
  4. It takes an Aries as much time to make a life decision as it does to decide what they’re having for lunch.
  5. Are you planning on having a baby with an Aries? Good. That means you’ll have two babies to pamper.

TAURUS

  1. Taurus can be sluggish. In fact, they are, most of the time. Their physical activity is usually restricted to getting off the couch to grab the remote for the TV. 
  2. Taurus loves nature. When in nature, they can contemplate (i.e. do nothing) in peace.
  3. Their patience is inexhaustible. Doing nothing will do that to you – make you patient, that is.
  4. They don’t give up easily on their romantic relationships. Breaking up means having to look for a new partner. Who has time for that?
  5. Taurus likes the simple things in life: eating, drinking and sleeping.

GEMINI

  1. Gemini is often accused of getting easily bored. The truth is, a single moment of doing nothing can send them into a fit of hysterics. 
  2. Gemini knows how to adapt. They are able to successfully combine being married with acting single.
  3. They are good at doing many things at the same time, and even better at finishing none of them.
  4. They like to collect information. If you don’t care about Kim Kardashian’s latest shenanigans, that’s your problem – not theirs. 
  5. Contrary to popular belief, they are not two-faced. They are multi-faced.

Read also: The most and least tolerant star signs

CANCER

  1. Cancer never throws away things that have a sentimental value to them. One such example is the box of cookies that was given to them by their first love, in kindergarten. 
  2. Cancer replenishes their wardrobe every 15 years.
  3. They love vintage stuff. To this day, they watch TV seated in that little chair Nana had bought them when they were 5.
  4. When they’re feeling down, they tend to eat as much as the rest of the zodiac signs combined. Because FOOD IS LOVE.
  5. They know how to change a baby’s diaper, even if they have no children.

LEO

  1. Leo is extremely generous and loves buying gifts for other people. You’d be well-advised to learn to reciprocate.
  2. Leo loves theatre so much they even play roles in real life.
  3. They like drawing attention to themselves, so they often dress like Bjork.
  4. They are as modest as Taurus is energetic.
  5. If they are not your number one priority, you’re doing something wrong.

VIRGO

  1. To Virgo, the glass is neither half-full nor half-empty – it’s dirty.
  2. Unless their sleepers are placed in the right position (whatever that is), Virgo can’t sleep at night.
  3. But if you break up with a Virgo, they won’t lose sleep over it; they know you can’t get your life in order without them.
  4. They never step on the cracks in the pavement; it would disrupt order.
  5. They make great nurses. That’s because they often practice their nursing skills in their romantic relationships.

Read also: Myths and facts about the star signs

LIBRA

  1. Libra enjoys seeking balance more than actually finding it.
  2. Libra looks elegant and polished all the time – so much so that you can’t help wondering whether they sleep on their feet in order for their coiffure to remain intact.
  3. Libra is an Air zodiac sign, so Libras are naturally big on communication. In other words, don’t call a Libra on the phone unless you have plenty of time to waste.
  4. If you feel like ruining a Libra’s evening, respond to their “should we have Thai or Taiwanese for dinner” dilemma with “how about Chinese?”.
  5. If a Libra compliments you on your looks, don’t let it go to your head; they are too tactful to be truthful about such things.

SCORPIO

  1. Scorpio likes to scratch beneath the surface of things. In fact, the first person to ever come up with a conspiracy theory was a Scorpio.
  2. Legend has it that the first hacker was a Scorpio, too.
  3. Scorpio has a reputation for being distrustful of other people. But the truth is, they simply won’t give you their number unless they’ve known you for years. 
  4. The worst thing you can do to a Scorpio is to always tell them the truth. It’s like stripping them of their purpose in life.
  5. Few people can love as deeply as a Scorpio. In fact, a Scorpio’s love is so deep it can send you to the bottom of the ocean.

SAGITTARIUS

  1. If you want to drive a Sagittarius crazy, tell them what they can’t do. And then sit back and watch them try to do it.
  2. Sagittarius is the philosopher of the Zodiac. They can spend hours analyzing the French revolution and then top it off with some information on the reproduction of fungi.
  3. They may pretend to be agnostics, but in reality, they pray to God every night that everything goes well.
  4. They are always focused on the future. Whether that’s the future of the world or their plans for the weekend is irrelevant.
  5. They are very adventurous. VERY adventurous. If a Sagittarius invites you to join them for a drink, prepare yourself for an experience that will put “The Hangover” to shame.

Read also: A humirous look at the zodiac signs and their negative traits

CAPRICORN

  1. Capricorn tends to settle down somewhat late in life: “It’s not my fault I’m incredibly self-sufficient”.
  2. If you want to break up with a Capricorn without hurting their feelings, suggest that you two backpack and hitchhike across the country. They’ll run for the hills.
  3. If you want to offend a Capricorn, tell them: “This looks so comfy! I want one! Is it as cheap as it looks?”
  4. When a Capricorn wants something bad, they overanalyze everything about it and end up hating it just as bad.
  5. We know someone who’s still waiting for a Capricorn to make the first move. If you’re interested, their phone number is 415-555-xyz.

AQUARIUS

  1. The key to an Aquarius’ heart is friendship – and you’d be well-advised to leave things at that.
  2. Rules are made to be followed by the many, and to be broken by Aquarius.
  3. Aquarius have few inhibitions, if any. They are free spirits. If you ask an Aquarius to undress in the middle of Central Park, they will…
  4. …which also explains why "I Wish I Could Have Been There" speaks right to their heart. 
  5. The first mother to ever say, “Finish your meal; there are children starving in Africa”, was an Aquarius – and she meant every word of it.

PISCES

  1. Did you know fish sleep with their eyes open? We’re not trying to imply anything. Just saying.
  2. If you see a Pisces talking to themselves, don’t judge: Their friend, Joe, is there; you just can’t see him.
  3. If you see someone dressed like they came straight out of the ‘50s, chances are they’re a Pisces.
  4. Remember Nemo? Fish are prone to disorientation.
  5. Pisces can remember where they were 12 years ago today, but not what they had for lunch.

Read also: 4 things you should take into account before moving in with each of the 12 zodiac signs

Date Modified: Jun 27, 2018 16:32:51
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