Astrology Oscars 2018
And the Oscar goes to…? That’s right folks, we’ve decided to hijack the whole Oscar thing and award to each zodiac sign our very own version of that odd little gold statuette, Horoscope Friends-style, based on the quirks and foibles of Aries, Taurus, Gemini et al. Some of which you might not be aware of. So as well as your own star-sign, why not also have a peek at your friends and family’s signs too, and you can even let us know what you think on our Facebook page, if the spirit moves you!
And the Oscar for Best Zodiac Sign 2018 Goes To...
Why does each zodiac sign deserve a little gong in our Astrology Oscars 2018? Time to decode what astrology says!
for…Giving fear the willies
Rams would emerge from a burning building (not recommended) cradling a singed cat in their arms so that they could be tagged #fearless. Fear fears them, or so they like to think. Psst…of course they fear stuff, they’re only human (just), they just don’t let it master them.
for…Giving love a good name
Love conquers all, and no sign will love you more, or help you to conquer your fear of intimacy more than Taurus will. Yup, in this world of wall-to-wall angst, they give love a good name. Some of them are even quite dishy, with film-star looks and lashings of sophistication.
for…Knowing their onions
And when we say onions, we mean the whole darn metaphorical onion family: garlic, spring onions, chives etc. Get it? They know it all! That rolodex-like Gemini mind takes nibbles here and there and then breaks it all down for the rest of, without all that boring eye-watering detail.
for…Telling Old Mother Hubbard where to go!
Cancer would fill Old Mother Hubbard’s cupboard in a heartbeat, and then make her some soup before leaving. You’ll always get fed when the crab’s around. This sign knows the beauty of carbs. And naughty treats. And seconds. Followed by cheese and biscuits.
for…Being first to dance and the last one standing
Brassy Leos and the break of dawn were made for one another because this sign, ruled in astrology by the sun, is the last one standing at parties and often seen doing the walk of shame, or the stride of pride, when the sun’s coming up!
for…Being a regular Mary Poppins (with a sassy edge)
There’s a touch of the sassy Mary Poppins’s about Virgo, and when they’re not being practically perfect in every way, they’re being absolutely perfect in every way. And once their work is done, they unsentimentally move on to the next task. You gotta love ‘em for it.
for…Their honeyed way with words
All you gotta do to get sticky ears is listen to Libra’s honeyed words. Here we have a zodiac sign that always knows what to say to make life sweeter. This Oscar would of course have to be accompanied by another statuette for company. Libra doesn’t do single anything.
The Scorpio emotional reservoir is vast. Much of it uncharted. They even scare themselves sometimes when they look into it and see all their complexities reflected right back at them. But when they unleash their ferocity, it’s fierce, and sorts the weak from the strong.
for…Having their coordinates permanently set to Hope Springs!
Hope springs eternal, and if there were an imaginary place called Hope Springs, say, then it’d be full of archers with their arrows pointed towards the bluest piece of sky. Sure, things get them down, but they dust themselves off and get back in the race rather than get trampled by it.
There’s the Capricorn way and there’s the wrong way. These people known which side their bread’s buttered on and which cutlery to use and the importance of minding your Ps and Qs. They are the gods and goddesses of impeccability. Greenwich meantime sets its watch by Capricorn!
for…Truth, honour - and ankles
Aquarius, ruler of the ankles on the zodiac map of the body, is a noble, truth-seeking sign. We underestimate the importance of the ankles, likewise Aquarius, and like the humble ankle, this is a strong sign, but they can also be a little fragile when leaned on at the wrong angle.
Thank you poetic, painting, musical Pisces for all the beautiful works of art in this world. Ditto Hollywood. The actual Oscars. Glitz and the glamour. All of it sweeping us away from the grime of everyday life. Pisces isn’t of this world, and we’re all the better for it.
Photo credit: Jaguar PS / Shutterstock.com, edited by Horoscope Friends.