How to make your ex jealous based on his Zodiac Sign
Wondering how to make your ex jealous? Picture it. All the planets are aligned. You’re looking fab and linking arms with your gorgeous new squeeze when you spot your ex gawping at you from across the other side of the street, as enviously green as Shrek. And for once you’re able to revel in all its jealousy-inducing glory – without so much as a bus flying past and soaking you, like SJP in the opening credits of SATC. Here, for all you wonderfully twisted so-and-so’s out there, is our guide to how to make your ex jealous based on his zodiac sign!
What will make your ex really jealous?
Want to see them turn green with envy? Read on for your astrology guide on how to make your ex jealous based on their zodiac sign... And if you really want to know what's on your ex's mind, why not dial 0207 111 6384 and speak to a gifted psychic?
The fast track to making your Aries ex jealous is to excel at something that you know he was desperate to excel at when you were together but he failed miserably at. He’ll take it very personally if you beat his personal best. You appearing happier single than when you were lovers gets him hopping mad!
It doesn’t take much to make your Taurus ex jealous. All he has to know/sense is that you’re not lusting after him, and it also drives them crazy if you improve your dwellings once you bin him, or get on the property ladder, or get richer. One whiff of a more expensive perfume and you’ll see steam pouring from the bull’s nostrils!
What’s the moist effective way to turn your Gemini ex Grotbags-green? Make a play for one of his friends. Gemini men can be surprisingly possessive of their buddies – or you could invest in some miracle skin cream so that passers by would assume he was your father rather than your ex in an identity parade.
As soon as you tell your zodiac sign Cancer man that your mum either a. never really liked him or b. she prefers your new man over him, you’ll see jealousy and rage wash over that normally angelic face. That’s because the crab always forms just as strong an attachment to the family of his lovers as he does his lover, especially if his own family isn’t much cop.
Your Leo ex must shine in his own territory. And he’ll get very jealous if you muscle in on it once you’ve split, or if you dare to stay in touch with his friends and family to the point where they seem to prefer your company over his! And should you and one of them strike up a romance, whoah, that’s bad.
Making your Virgo ex jealous all comes down to you getting fitter than him. Or you going for someone the complete opposite of him, because to Virgo that’s completely illogical. Why? Because then he’ll have to call into question the idea that he has of himself as absolute perfection on a stick for you to lick.
It’ll make your Libra man a bit jealous you start dressing well, or your ex sees you about town with someone who cuts a bit of a dash. He might not show it or tell you he’s jealous, because that’s all beneath him, but it’ll come out subconsciously, like him starting to wear green socks.
Jealousy burns inside of Scorpios daily, so it doesn’t take much to stoke it. If you start dressing and acting like you’re now having amazing, animalistic sex, or give it loads of PDAs with your new lover, Mr Scorpio will turn greener than Kermit after a kale, spinach and broccoli smoothie,
It might take your Sagittarius ex a wee bit longer to show/admit to the fact that he is jealous, but if you’ve got the wherewithal and the time off from work, the sure-fire way to make him jealous is by heading off to India for three weeks, or Spain, and plastering it all over Facebook!
They say that success is best revenge, and we know we’re talking about jealousy here, but the two are kind of the same thing for Cap. If any part of your life, and we mean any part, takes on an upward trajectory once the goat has does one, said goat won’t be very giddy for long.
Aquarius is a hard nut to crack. If you want your Aquarius ex to even turn a subtle shade of pistachio-green, then you must never show even a suspicion of emotion or regret or remorse when you run into him. Be as crisp, aloof and polite as C3PO and see what reaction you get!
Pisces blokes can get green around the gills when they’re jealous as well as when they’re feeling under the weather. The most jealousy-inducing thing you can do to your Pisces ex is join Plenty of Fish (or other dating app that he happens to be on), get yourself done up the 9s for your profile pic and then watch him drool!